One thing I didn’t do on the day I confronted him about what my daughter had told me he was doing to her was record his admission. I wasn’t yet at a point in my life... or at least I didn’t realize I was... where I needed to record every conversation.
Not having that admission on record haunted me for eight long years. Without it, what should have been undeniable evidence became a he said, she said situation... one where, somehow, the court leaned toward believing that I was the problem.
You can bet that now, I record every interaction and limit all communication to text whenever possible. I spent years knowing the truth but being unable to convince others, and that inability led to my children enduring things that broke their spirits.
But what I eventually learned during that time was that the truth was never for others to know... it was for me to know. To act in alignment with that truth. To live in that truth and do everything in my power to help myself and my kids, regardless of who believed us and who didn’t.
This wasn’t some revelation that came to me in a beam of light while a Pegasus showered down the beauty of truth upon me. It was a truth learned in the depths of hell... in the wreckage of our lives... while watching my kids crumble, knowing it might not have happened if I’d just recorded that conversation. I blamed myself for a long time.
Every now and then, I still want to put him on blast. To share the texts he sends me or the recordings I have... one of which made a psychiatrist who worked in the prison system leave the room because, in her words, "I've never heard any human being speak to another human being like that.”
But then I return to my truth... it doesn’t matter who knows how he acts. It’s not my job to expose him. My purpose is to reach others walking through the same fire and show them that there is hope. There is light.
And that light only shines when I stay in a place of truth... when I live as proof that you can survive, heal, and turn the ugliest situations into something beautiful. Salvation doesn’t come from convincing others of the truth... it comes from staying in it... whether anyone believes you or not.
These eight years left me contemplating the importance of truth... deeply. When you tell the truth, live in truth, and still lose for so long, it really makes you wonder.
But my dedication to truth... a path I’ve followed since I was 21... is what ultimately saved me. It’s what led to that admission which, though it still haunts me, became my saving grace when denial crept in and could have changed our trajectory for the worse.
That same commitment has built a solid foundation with my kids. Despite the games he plays and the manipulation he uses, they always come back to a place of knowing who I am... and who they can trust.
My first four books were written when my kids were younger. And though they’ve helped tens of thousands of children and adults of all ages heal from emotional and narcissistic abuse, I’m hearing more and more that there’s a distinct need for books for teens and young adults dealing with narcissistic abuse. And I get it. My kids are now 15, 19, and 30... and the struggles run deeper at those ages. The emotional complexity, the confusion, the search for identity... it all makes normal differentation... a process teens have to go through to grow into adjusted adults... into a minefield. And makes having and recognizing healthy relationships as an adult, really difficult.
That’s why I’m creating a new series... books for teens and young adults recovering from narcissistic abuse. These books will help them recognize manipulation, reclaim self-worth, and reconnect with their power. They’ll also help stable parents, reminding them that it can get better.
These books explore the concepts of truth, denial, comfort, and fear... how those become weaponized through narcissistic abuse and how to recognize when it's a weapon, and when it's normal and healthy. These books are still in the production phase, but you can get early access to the first limited-edition run by joining our waitlist.
If you’ve got a teen or young adult struggling with the impact of narcissistic abuse, these books can help. They’re written to empower, to heal, and to remind both parent and child (no matter how grown they are) that hope is never lost.
✨ Get on the early access list today to make sure you receive your copies before they sell out (limited quantity available)
👉 [Click here to join the list.]
