I think we've all heard of them, whether it's through a "Trigger Warning" on a social post or someone saying they were triggered. And there seems to be an accepted environment of trying to avoid things that trigger us. But if we do that, we're missing the hidden beauty that is presented for our own growth every time we feel triggered. But it's important to understand what a trigger is, in order to start working towards healing.
Have you ever reacted to something way bigger than the moment called for… and only later thought, “Why did I respond like that?”
That’s a trigger.
And triggers aren’t personality flaws. They’re nervous system memories.
What a trigger actually is
A trigger is your body recognizing something as familiar before your mind has time to think.
A tone of voice. A look. A smell. A situation. A phrase.
Your nervous system says:
“I’ve been here before. This wasn’t safe.”
And it reacts to the past while you’re standing in the present.
How triggers are formed
Triggers are created during moments when you felt unsafe, powerless, shamed, controlled, dismissed, afraid, violated.
Especially if those moments were repeated.
Your brain’s job is survival. So it stores patterns:
“When this happens → prepare to protect.”
That protection can look like shutting down, overreacting, people-pleasing, anger, anxiety, fight or flight behaviors or avoidance.
Not because you’re dramatic.
Because your body learned a long time ago that it had to.
Why long-term narcissistic abuse makes triggers harder to heal
When you’ve lived with a narcissist for a long time, the lines between past and present get blurry.
You may have spent months or years needing to be hyper-vigilant to survive, reading the room constantly, anticipating moods, walking on eggshells. This isn't a flaw, it was a survival skill.
The problem is… your nervous system doesn’t know the danger has passed.
And if you’re co-parenting, the situation gets even more complicated because you’re required to interact. Court orders put you in a situation where your nervous system is constantly triggered. And if you've got kids, your kids are still dealing with the madness, so turning off hyper-vigilance when it feels still needed for their survival can be tricky.
How triggers quietly influence your life
If left unhealed, triggers start running things behind the scenes. They can keep you from creating healthy relationships, healthy patterns for your own life.
Learning to react from the now... vs reacting to then... is a vital step towards freeing yourself and finding peace.
How to recognize when you’re triggered
Triggers feel like:
- a sudden rush of emotion
- tight chest, clenched jaw, racing heart
- feeling 10 years old instead of your current age
- wanting to escape, yell, cry, or disappear
- thoughts like: “I’m not safe,” “I can’t handle this,” “I need to fix this now”
The giveaway?
The intensity doesn’t match the situation.
That’s your clue.
The mistake most people make with triggers
They try to think their way out of a body response.
But triggers don’t live in your thoughts.
They live in your nervous system.
You can’t logic your way out of something your body believes is dangerous.
You have to teach your body that it’s safe now.
How to work with triggers (instead of fighting them)
-
Pause
Don’t act yet. Notice. -
Name it
“I’m triggered right now.” -
Orient to the present
Look around. What do you see? Hear? Feel? -
Slow the breath
This tells your nervous system you are not in danger. -
Give your body a new experience
Calm in a moment that used to feel unsafe.
This is how healing happens.
Not by avoiding triggers.
But by meeting them differently.
How triggers heal
Every time you stay present instead of reacting automatically, your nervous system updates its file:
“This is not happening anymore. I am safe.”
or
"That was then... this is now."
Over time, the trigger loses power.
The reaction gets smaller.
The recovery gets faster.
Eventually, it fades.
This is exactly why I created the Total Nervous System Reset Guided Meditation
Because healing triggers is not a mindset exercise.
It’s a body experience.
This meditation walks your nervous system through:
- proven breathing to calm your nervous system
- effective techniques to rewire your body to feel safe
- creating a connection to calm and to your now reality
- rewiring how you respond to stress and emotional memory
We're teaching your nervous system a new response path to being triggered. And over time, this leads to you being able to regulate yourself more easily, and more often, instead of existing in a triggered state.
If you find yourself reacting in ways you don’t understand…
If you feel like your body is always on alert…
If you’re tired of being hijacked by old feelings…
If you're just exhausted by the state of the world right now and feel powerless...
My Total Nervous System Reset is a powerful tool to heal your nervous system and clear your triggers.
👉 [Total Nervous System Reset]
