When dealing with a narcissist, words are never just words. They’re tools of manipulation, control, and gaslighting. Narcissists use carefully chosen phrases to twist reality, make you doubt yourself, and keep the focus on them.
Recognizing these narcissist phrases is the first step to breaking free from their hold. The second? Learning how to respond with calm confidence... without feeding their toxic cycle.
The third, limiting interactions all together, because let's face it... why waste your energy? But I know that's not always possible, especially if you're "co-parenting" with a Narcissist, so below are 10 common narcissist manipulation tactics and powerful ways you can respond.
1. “You’re too sensitive.”
👉 Translation: They’re invalidating your feelings to avoid accountability.
💡 How to respond: “My feelings are valid. Let’s focus on the issue, not my sensitivity.”
2. “That never happened.”
👉 Translation: Classic narcissist gaslighting... making you question your own memory.
💡 How to respond: “I remember it differently, and that’s what matters.”
3. “You’re overreacting.”
👉 Translation: They’re minimizing your reaction to shift blame.
💡 How to respond: “This is important to me, and I want to address it respectfully.”
4. “If you really loved me, you would…”
👉 Translation: Emotional blackmail designed to control you.
💡 How to respond: “Love shouldn’t come with conditions.”
5. “Everyone agrees with me.”
👉 Translation: A power play to isolate you and make you feel outnumbered.
💡 How to respond: “I’m open to hearing from them directly, but right now, let's focus on the issue at hand.”
6. “You’re imagining things.”
👉 Translation: Another gaslighting tactic to erode your trust in your perception.
💡 How to respond: “I trust my instincts, and I won’t ignore them.”
7. “You’ll never find anyone better.”
👉 Translation: They’re attacking your self-worth to keep control.
💡 How to respond: “My value isn’t defined by you.”
8. “You’re the problem.”
👉 Translation: Projection... blaming you for their own behavior.
💡 How to respond: “I’ll take responsibility for my actions, not anyone elses.”
9. “I was just joking.”
👉 Translation: A way to disguise cruelty as humor.
💡 How to respond: “Please refrain from disguising your insults as jokes. They're not funny. Just say what you mean.”
10. “You’re insane.”
👉 Translation: Classic narcissist gaslighting... making you question your own sanity.
💡 How to respond: “You're entitled to your opinion. Opinions aren't facts.”
Taking Your Power Back
These narcissist manipulation phrases are designed to confuse, control, and exhaust you. Narcissists survive by creating chaos and trying to disconnect you from you. But with awareness and steady boundaries, you can take back your power. Be prepared to sound like a broken record. I literally find myself just saying the same things over and over in response to the madness. But repeating phrases that keep you in your power is better than getting sucked into the game.
Most importantly... if you’re parenting alongside a narcissist, your children may also hear these same tactics. Helping them recognize manipulation, validate their feelings, and build resilience is essential.
👉 Empower your kids with tools that validate their feelings and help them maintain their sense of self when exposed to Narcissistic Abuse... explore my books here.
