It's Not That Bad

It's Not That Bad

There once was a science experiment. Researchers found that when they put a frog in a pan of boiling water, the frog quickly jumped out. On the other hand, when they put a frog in cold water and set the water to boil over time, the frog just boiled to death.


Why is this?  


Perhaps, because in the beginning, it felt like improvement, as the water went from cold to warm?  Perhaps because of the gradual nature, it became hard to discern what’s warm and what’s detrimental?  Perhaps it looked around at the other frogs, saw they weren’t moving, and felt like they shouldn’t have a problem?  Perhaps the frog was trying to be strong?  Perhaps it was scared of what was outside of the pot?  


Perhaps I’m giving frogs too much of a thought process.  But, I feel pretty confident, if that frog had an internal dialogue, it was definitely telling itself; “It’s not that bad.” 


Some frogs “It’s not that bad” themselves to death like the one in the research story.  


But some frogs realize… “hey, this actually IS bad” and try to get out.


And do you know what the other frogs who aren’t helping themselves will say to the frog trying to get out? 


“It’s not that bad.”


My point?


Don’t take advice from boiling frogs. 

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1 comment

I’ve definitely told myself this, about my depression, about my abuse… :( You’re so right that it doesn’t help to ignore the boiling water.

Bonnie Way

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trish MICHAEL

Trish Michael is a best-selling author, trauma-informed creator, and advocate for kids and families healing from abuse.

Drawing from her lived experience, Trish writes empowering, gentle stories that teach emotional safety, self-esteem, boundaries, and resilience. Her books are supporting tens of thousands of families navigating divorce, trauma, and narcissistic abuse with compassion and clarity.

She also creates healing resources for parents, empowerment tools for survivors, and advocates for emotional literacy in homes, schools, and communities.

Trish's mission stems from these core beliefs: The stories we read matter. The stories we tell about ourselves matter even more.